A guide to mediation for Patients, Service Users, Families, Parents and Carers

We know how draining and distressing it can be when communication breaks down over decisions that matter deeply – whether you’re working through a care plan for a parent, weighing up care and residence options, supporting a child through a serious or life-limiting illness, or facing an end-of-life decision. These conversations are hard enough without the added strain of feeling unheard.

Our aim is to help everyone involved step back, be properly heard, and find a way forward together.

What is mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process. An independent, specially trained mediator helps everyone involved talk through a disagreement without going to court, or alongside court proceedings where appropriate.

The mediator does not take sides, give advice, or decide anything for you. Instead, they create a calm, structured space where:

• everyone has the chance to speak and be properly listened to
• the real concerns, worries and needs can be discussed openly
• families and professionals can work together towards a practical way forward

Mediation isn’t about establishing who is right. It’s about restoring communication, understanding each other’s position, and reaching decisions that put your wellbeing – or the wellbeing of the person you care about – first.

Is mediation right for your situation?

Mediation can help with a wide range of health and care disagreements, including:

• Treatment and care decisions — disagreements with doctors, hospitals or care providers about the right treatment, a discharge plan, or day-to-day care
• Court of Protection matters — decisions about the welfare, residence or finances of someone who may lack the mental capacity to decide for themselves, including disagreements between family members holding a Lasting Power of Attorney or Deputyship
• Care for a seriously or critically ill child — where parents and clinical teams need to work through difficult decisions together, including in paediatric intensive or palliative care
• End-of-life care — sensitive conversations between families and clinical teams about palliative care

Preparing for mediation

If everyone agrees to try mediation, your mediator will guide you through it, usually starting with a private, confidential conversation with you. It can help to think ahead about:

• Your priorities — what matters most to you, or to the person you’re caring for
• Relevant information — care plans, letters or medical summaries that would help explain your perspective
• Anything you need to take part fully — we regularly arrange interpreters, Easy Read materials, and adjustments for sensory or communication needs. Just let us know.

A note to the professionals involved

If you are a doctor, social worker, care home manager or other professional reading this alongside a patient or family: mediation works because everyone comes to it in good faith, including you. We know these situations are rarely straightforward, and that professionals are often balancing competing duties of care alongside a family’s distress. Mediation is there to support that work, not to scrutinise it – it gives everyone, including you, a structured space to be heard.

How to start: referring a case

Mediation only works when everyone takes part voluntarily, so we can’t proceed unless the professional(s) or organisation(s) involved are also willing to mediate.

If you are a professional or organisation, you’re welcome to refer a case to us directly, or to commission mediation on behalf of everyone involved — this is our preferred route, and the most straightforward way to get things moving. [Contact us] to discuss a case in confidence.

If you are a patient, family member or carer, the best first step is to raise it directly with the professional or organisation you’re in disagreement with:

1. Ask them: “Would you be open to independent mediation to help us work through this?”
2. Feel free to share this website with them, so they can see how we work.
3. Once they’ve confirmed they’re open to it, either of you can contact us to arrange a complimentary, no-obligation conversation about how mediation could help.

What does it cost?

We agree fees and funding before mediation begins, so there are no surprises. In practice, costs are usually met in one of a few ways:

• The organisation covers it. Most commonly, the NHS trust, care provider, local authority or other organisation(s) involved commissions and pays for the mediation.
• Costs are shared. Sometimes the parties agree to split the cost between them.
• Legal aid may contribute in some cases. Where a party has a solicitor acting for them – for example, in some Court of Protection matters – legal aid may in certain circumstances help cover the cost of their taking part. This depends on individual eligibility, so it’s always worth asking a solicitor or Citizens Advice directly.

Whatever the arrangement, we’ll always be clear about cost before anyone commits to the process.